My Project Failed. Here’s What I Learned

For the last couple of years, I’ve been working quietly on a TV project (networking in the industry, pitching, and trying to get this show made about something which I so deeply believe needs to be seen). 

So many pats on the back and seeming commitments turned into unreturned emails and calls. So many walls built up until “you find a celebrity to get on board”. 

Diligently, I bought in and worked to do just that. As time ticked on and the sound of crickets became louder, I turned inward and realized I’d given away my power. I began to believe that I wasn’t good enough unless either a celebrity thought so or I became one in my own right. And while I “knew better”, this was insidious and crept in slowly, without my noticing.

Part of my life’s work is to unwind these messages I had hammered into my head as a child that I wasn’t worthy or good enough. 

And even with decades of growth and work in this area, I can’t sleep on it because I see it rise to the surface again in instances like this. 

One could be exhausted by the seemingly never-ending growth path, but I’m choosing (today at least) to appreciate the scavenger hunt of noticing these things within myself and being given the opportunity to address them. 

How about you? What’s coming to the surface these days? Perhaps an old pattern that has deeper roots than you thought? Or maybe a new lesson altogether?

Will you address it or bury it?